I lastly bit the bullet and mixed two of my favourite issues, merchandise no person ought to ever significantly need, and outrageous stream-of-consciousness storytelling.


Disclaimer: I’ve no delusions in regards to the chance of success. That is an experimental comedy venture that has taught me in regards to the technical facet of eCommerce. The following step is studying develop merchandise and content material that promote, be they severe, or a gag-worthy-gift.

Edit: After I posted this, I did see the offset of the content material in Chrome, a refresh fixes it, engaged on that now. Edit: Seems like I overoptimized, and Autoptimize did one thing goofy. That’ll take some time to trace down…


Shartwear is only a pair of shorts that appear like you’ve got gambled and misplaced. You’ll assume nobody would need these, however who would put on pants like this until they have been so objectively superior they’ve transcended the necessity for regular human hygiene?

Or so the copy I wrote whereas terribly excessive says(having it proofread this week). In actuality, these are supposed as a gag reward for “that good friend” all of us have who would put on them to the household reunion as a result of they’ve a determined have to be the focal point.

That is much less about promoting a product and extra about promoting childish humor packaged inside a needlessly severe narrative with an additional needlessly elaborate backstory. If profitable, I’ve related merchandise that may be spun up off the design with new content material that ties all of it collectively into an absurdist model, however I should not get forward of myself.


It is a ardour venture that mixes my humor with my abilities. It appears like it could get traction in a tiny subset of web communities, however like all makes an attempt at viral materials, there’s a practically 100% probability of failure. I do not care both approach. It is designed to make the reader have an aneurysm asking “why?” and hopefully giggle alongside the best way.

I additionally work in an workplace the place I’ve needed to break up bodily fights as a result of all the pieces right here is terrible, so this can be a cathartic artistic launch on prime of fine expertise that prepares me for the subsequent degree of my profession.

**Technical Element**

It is direct-to-garment printing from Printful, and the web site is constructed on WordPress, hosted on WPEngine, utilizing WooCommerce as a purchasing cart, and Stripe for cost processing. Rankmath is used for search engine optimisation…not that I want search engine optimisation for one thing no human has ever or will ever seek for… I’ve closely optimized it to the purpose the place I have to roll again a couple of adjustments that trigger the positioning to show CSS free content material between page-turns. GTMetrix is someplace within the excessive 90s and Lighthouse is low 80s.

I’m nonetheless ready to get a pattern in hand to see if I’ve to make changes to the template or now, however it’s being fulfilled now by what I am positive is a confused Printful crew.

**Advertising and marketing Plans**

Reddit Adverts. Fb Adverts. Fb/Twitter accounts as quickly as Fb stops erroring upon web page creation. I will even be submitting the venture to web sites just like the Ineffective Net Index, Drunk Mall, and so forth.

Pilot paid campaigns could have any conversions tracked through Google Tag Supervisor, Google Analytics/Fb Pixel, and adverts will likely be a/b examined, assuming the amount is adequate for any evaluation. If a viable ROI is discovered after accounting for self-employment taxes, budgets will likely be turned up.

I count on terribly low conversion charges for the reason that website’s intention is to be shared greater than marketed. If profitable, will probably be a flash within the pan, then a quickly flattening lengthy tail to obscurity.


I’ve already succeeded in my major objective. I’ve completed a venture with only some refinements left. I’m infamous for not ending private curiosity initiatives, and I’ve had sufficient of that bullshit half-assed model of myself. I consider I’ve whole-assed this venture so arduous I may have new pants myself.

My secondary objective is 1 sale to a complete stranger. Every part else after that’s gravy. That is principally about studying, so I am not going to fret about it.


I might admire any recommendation on the content material(don’t be concerned about grammar, it is being proof-read, and a few of the bizarre phrasing is intentional), technical, or sensible concerns as I put together to formally launch this factor. Thanks for taking the time to learn this.

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